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Cause pretty soon they have little hats. "Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation." George Carlin Read more quotes from George Carlin Share this quote: Like Quote Recommend to friends Friends Who Liked This Quote That is against their interests. Deal with it.George Carlin, Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.George Carlin, He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.George Carlin, I dont know how you feel, but Im pretty sick of church people. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, 10. You and I are not in the big club. George Carlin Quotes Government : "Most of the government wants to control information and language so that it can control you. Now you can finally see what made George Carlin the dad tick. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time, George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other 4994. 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American - Comedian May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born on May 12, 1937, was an Americanstand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. I love individuals. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. Its so f***ing heroic. They own all the important land. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. George Carlin, Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, I think people should be allowed to do what they want. Deal with it. You have owners. They all said: Try to live together peacefully. BAM! Your dog thinks you're a god. " George Carlin Quotes I've set my own rules to live by. When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. 383 talking about this. Im completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Really? . "https://":"http://";i+=f?g:k;i+=j;i+=h;c(i)}if(!e.ue_inline){if(a.loadUEFull){a.loadUEFull()}else{b()}}a.uels=c;e.ue=a})(window,document); It's a Big Club, and You Ain't in it - American Thinker George Carlin. Try spelling Evian backward. Who the fuck is going to invade the US? - George Carlin profile quotes. The planet is fine. He Was Fatally Beaten by Memphis Police Now People Around the World Are Sharing #SunsetsForTyre in His Honor, 41 Daughter Quotes That Will Touch and Melt Your Heart, 20 Most Inspiring Martin Luther King Jr. In America, anyone can become president. var cookiePair = cookie.split('='); I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. g = p.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; " George Carlin Quotes "War will end when people stop showing up for it. I look at war a little. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, 15. Lists. Thank you! Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. We would love to hear your thoughts, so dont be shy and comment below! George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. "Events.SushiEndpoint": "https://unagi.amazon.com/1/events/com.amazon.csm.csa.prod", _Q: [] After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. What do you get at the end of it? You know why? My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Theyre all in favour of the unborn. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, 59. Weve added years to life, not life to years. }); And far from staying to the safer path, he leapt time and again past the cliff of common wisdom, in the hopes of rattling us into questioning the way we live. George Carlin quotes on the American government In America, anyone can become president. 8 George Carlin Quotes On Death That Will Make You Think! Ice Cube Shares George Carlin Quote About Politicians: 'They - Newsweek If you can connect with theseGeorge Carlin quotes, subscribe to our blog so that you dont miss a single post. George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. return true; If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Im talking about the real owners now the real owners. " George Carlin Quotes "Most of the country was founded by slave owners so they could be free. Aparently we're not ready for that! Question it, and try to see the world for what it actually is, as opposed to what someone or some company or some organization or some government is trying to represent it as, or present it as, however they've mislabeled it or dressed it up or told you. //Quote by George Carlin: "Forget the politicians. The politicians are Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. He was regarded as an influential and significant comic of all time. Just daydreaming. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. This video is an ideal way to start your day off on a funny and thought provoking note and stay inspired through. George Carlin > Quotes (?) The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. window.csa("Events")("setEntity", { Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. fetchBids: function() { And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. " George Carlin 14. George Carlin Quote On Critical Thinking | by Ruth | Medium Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. "Laugh often, long and loud. Interview with Todd Leopold, edition.cnn.com. They should be more vivid. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin "The planet is fine. I have certain rules I live by. window.csa("Config", { Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole. I hate groups of people. Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is considered one of the most influential comedians of all time. Life is a zero sum game. George Carlin, 36. (function () { 50 The Alchemist Quotes To Make You Follow Your Dreams, 195 Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 5), 70 Attack On Titan Quotes That Will Inspire Greatness, 37 The Lion King Quotes Filled With Powerful Life Lessons, Your email address will not be published. If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, 11. "CacheDetection.RequestID": "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. }); They own you. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. [CDATA[ They own all the important land. var ue_id = "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN"; Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. How are YOU going to tackle today? Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. function(a9, a, p, s, t, A, g) { His critical thinking shines on stage and opens your eyes to modern-day problems that most folks are oblivious to. George Carlin, Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?George Carlin, Electricity is really just organized lightningGeorge Carlin, Would a fly without wings be called a walk?George Carlin, There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) - Goodreads Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. It can help you a lot.George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. October 29, 2004. When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. George Carlin, 25. Carlin certainly aimed to provoke, but its the why and how of it that made him so exceptional. And armbands. Government is an important institution. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointedidealist. George Carlin, Never argue with an idiot. setDisplayBids: function() {}, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, 16. One of comedian George Carlin's more notable quotes, pointing out a reality of American life is, "It's a big club, and you ain't in it." His words are a simple commentary on the ruling. George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. In America, anyone can become president. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. George Carlin 13. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin, 35. "Boy everyone in this country is running around yammering about their fucking rights. Thats the problem., I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country., Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance., Forget the politicians. 50 Motivational George Carlin Quotes For Success If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin, 32. We cut education, in 50 years, well be so stack with idiots with shitty jobs that we wont have enough money to pay for defense! George Carlin, 85. 21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics Enjoy! He loves you and he needs money. Theres no present. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. googletag.pubads().disableInitialLoad(); Laugh often, long and loud. If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? //What George Carlin Believed About Religion One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, 39. gads.async = true; I hate a group of people with a common purpose. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away. stylesheet.type = "text/css"; It will be Nikesneakers and Smiley shirts. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, By and large, languageis a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres theself-helpsection? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. We havent tried that for a while. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. 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Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question what they read. They own you. "Men are from Earth,. Seems like a big waste of time to me! This made him outstanding. And probably increase.George Carlin, And heres something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers arent answered. They never mention that part to us, do they? George Carlin, 50. Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English. If the parent corporation doesn't want you to know something, it won't be on the news. We dont even know how to take care of ourselves; we havent learned how to care for one another. Its disgusting, man. Yeah, I know, youre thinking. Every day we present the best quotes! Quote by George Carlin: "But there's a reason. There - Goodreads We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. The poor are just there just to scare the shit out of the middle class. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. We can afford to cut defense; we cant afford to cut education. Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? Authors. It creates a hostile work environment. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.